So much has happened... Yet, the underlying desire, the craving for someone special keeps knawing at my heart.

Everyday, its the same question that, as much as I really wanna avoid, it just appears in my mind. "Is there anyone out there for me?"

Well, it has rather, come to a point where I have more or less convinced myself... That... Well, it wouldn't be surprising that I would be single...... Till the day I leave. Really...

My heart yearns for someone to care for me, for someone to share the ups and downs of life, to comfort me, and to require me to care for too...

These few days, no months, have made me very tired of being the one to start the conversation... So very tired of having conversations end as suddenly as they begin, when one no longe feels bored. Does anyone trully understand how I feel? To be forever the "reserve" to be substituted only when required, and left aside immediately after...

It also feels kinda sad that the only time any of my friends contact me first, its always cause something bad has happened, and advice is required... Or that one feels upset and needs to complain to someone... Or one needs help... Seriously... What do I look like to you? A counsellor? Or a help hotline? I know I should be grateful that in times of need, me of all people come to mind... Yet... It still hurts, to always be the "backup" guy... The guy whom one only remembers when things go wrong... Maybe I should be grateful that people actually remembers me... But still there is sorrow within...


When I look up at the night sky, one cannot help but feel the sorrow, the melancholy of it all... And like the night sky, one cannot help but feel that the thing I desire, always seem so far away....